I’m back in Canberra at my old job for a few weeks while on school holidays. This is good and bad. Good because I get to earn some money at a pretty easy job, I get to see bucket loads of Mr Smaggle and I get to do lots of things without lining up (go to the movies, drive to work, grocery shop). It’s bad because Browny isn’t here because I’m replacing her, it’s the most deathly boring job on the planet and the morons that used to frustrate me to the point that I actually wanted to hurt myself are still here. Annoying me.
I had a real winner of an application this morning. The clients are required to submit an application with two passport sized photos attached. This absolute moron stuck BOTH of his photos to the application with glue… face down. When I tried to carefully peel them off and salvage what was left the loser looked like a plastic surgery addict. When I called him to tell him that I needed replacement photos he tried to tell me that it wasn’t his application. My reply was – yes it is. It has your name on it. And he said ‘Well if you can’t see the photos then you can’t tell what I look like so how do you know that you’re talking to the owner of the application?’.
Did any one else pull an involuntary face of what-the-fuck? How does this guy actually function? I CAN’T SEE YOU ANYWAY YOU DICKHEAD! WE ARE TALKING ON THE PHONE!!!!! Also I know your name, address and passport number. All of which you just confirmed for me. I can handle stupid people. I just need them to own their stupidity. Stupid people who are also arrogant should be rounded up and shipped off to an island where they can have no spacial awareness, be illogical and make dumb arse sweeping statements away from the rest of world. Lest we kill them all.
I also need to have a serious chat to Browny. Let me recount a little conversation we had a few months ago…
Browny – Hey I’ve got a great idea. You know that really great system that you have for figuring out how many candidates have had their applications accepted?
Lady Smaggle – Yeah?
Browny – Well I have a really, REALLY dumb idea! Why don’t we TOTALLY change it so it’s inconvenient, annoying and completely impossible to decifer? My idea involves a WHITEBOARD!
Lady Smaggle – Hm… I’m thinking…no. The system I have is great. I’ve been using it for two years and it hasn’t failed me once. I don’t care if you’ve already bought the whiteboard. The answer is no.
Browny – But I’m really stubborn and I want to change it.
Lady Smaggle – No. (Insert list of reasons why it’s a really stupid idea here) Now shut up bitch and make me a coffee.
So I rock up to work this morning and that little cow has implemented the white board system. That bitch was counting the seconds until I left so she could do this. My drawer of crap is also gone. Where am I going to store my crap now?
I tell you what, that girl is so lucky she is thousands of kilometres away…
What’s getting your goat this week my lovelies?
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx
ps – I just got a Facebook message from Browny. White board RULZ FOR EVA! She is dead when she gets back.
6 Comments
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Haha! I can soooo relate with stupid people – have you ever listened to Jeff Foxworthy? Not only does he have the most killer Texan accent he also does a whole thing about stupid people – he is brilliant! Methinks you would love him!!
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That logo just sums up my feelings completely!!!! and i hear you L.S…i hear you…… i’m not even going to get started on what things annoy me,cos the list would go on for days….
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i totally just pulled an involuntary what-the-fuck face. what an idiot.
i’d like to whinge about arrogant, self-righteous, perverted sociological theorists who write the most convoluted, deliberately vague and in-decipherable (i’m not even kidding… on purpose!) shit i’ve ever had to study (read: bash my head against) and then write about! i seriously think i have killed off at least 63.2% of my brain cells in the last 48 hours. i’m doing a design degree for chrissakes, this isn’t even fair!
wow… that felt good 🙂
ps, sorry i haven’t been commenting much recently, i’m still reading! just disgustingly busy (which i’m sure you know all about), partly on account of the aforementioned shite.
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that story is hilarious and sadly reminds me a bit of my job. when the engineering work gets slow we type in car accident reports. “driver states he dropped an unlit cigarette on the floor. when he bent over to get it, he swerved thru a mailbox and hit two parked cars” that’s only one of the most recent ones i remember and not even on our wall of shame
and completely off topic, i love your “daily style” pics. they inspired me to post some of my own. thanks!
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Had someone in the family (ex-family if you get my drift) who was constantly making comments about my being thin. Now, understand that I’m 6 feet tall and stand a good 175 of pretty solid muscle on a light frame, so I’m fairly well built. I’m a triathlete at that, and have had my years working in special operations in the military where you have to be a stud or you’re gone from the community in a heartbeat.
So this fat cow has the nerve one day to tell me that I need to eat more and put on some weight because I look like I just walked out of Auschwitz (the much known WWII concentration camp).
That did it.
I went off and reminded her of the state of MY body and MY fitness and that I could at least make my way up a flight of stairs without getting my heart rate up over 70, and that I could even make my way to her bathroom from her couch (7 feet by the way) with out being out of breath, and that, oh, my, I could even get up and make my OWN sandwiches in the kitchen (11 feet away) with out nearly having a coronary, you fat bitch. How about not EVER making a comment about my weight and I promise to never make any more comments about YOURS!!
Of course she threw me out of her house, which suited me just fine because the only reason I was there in the first place was to see my sons who were visiting, as I was loath to talk to her daughter (my ex-wife who is also now a grazer–she used to be a model, kind of like Kirstie Allie, only she used to look more like Madonna in her heyday), and it was a shorter drive to grandma’s house anyway.
I hate fat, stupid, arrogant people who think they have the right to be an armchair king or queen when their lives are so pathetically misshapen and disgustingly unproductive that you have to wonder why they are still even breathing my good air.
Hope this qualifies as a prospectively posted rant.
It sure feels like it does.
Rant off.
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i hate stupid people exactly like YOU who use “fucking” in every situation even if SEX has nothing to do with it! who are too stupid to describe how they feel and just talk like everyone talks even it’s .. STUPID! fucking, =having sex= something GOOD you do with your LOVE …. clear enough ?!?!
