I’m back in Canberra at my old job for a few weeks while on school holidays. This is good and bad. Good because I get to earn some money at a pretty easy job, I get to see bucket loads of Mr Smaggle and I get to do lots of things without lining up (go to the movies, drive to work, grocery shop). It’s bad because Browny isn’t here because I’m replacing her, it’s the most deathly boring job on the planet and the morons that used to frustrate me to the point that I actually wanted to hurt myself are still here. Annoying me.
I had a real winner of an application this morning. The clients are required to submit an application with two passport sized photos attached. This absolute moron stuck BOTH of his photos to the application with glue… face down. When I tried to carefully peel them off and salvage what was left the loser looked like a plastic surgery addict. When I called him to tell him that I needed replacement photos he tried to tell me that it wasn’t his application. My reply was – yes it is. It has your name on it. And he said ‘Well if you can’t see the photos then you can’t tell what I look like so how do you know that you’re talking to the owner of the application?’.
Did any one else pull an involuntary face of what-the-fuck? How does this guy actually function? I CAN’T SEE YOU ANYWAY YOU DICKHEAD! WE ARE TALKING ON THE PHONE!!!!! Also I know your name, address and passport number. All of which you just confirmed for me. I can handle stupid people. I just need them to own their stupidity. Stupid people who are also arrogant should be rounded up and shipped off to an island where they can have no spacial awareness, be illogical and make dumb arse sweeping statements away from the rest of world. Lest we kill them all.
I also need to have a serious chat to Browny. Let me recount a little conversation we had a few months ago…
Browny – Hey I’ve got a great idea. You know that really great system that you have for figuring out how many candidates have had their applications accepted?
Lady Smaggle – Yeah?
Browny – Well I have a really, REALLY dumb idea! Why don’t we TOTALLY change it so it’s inconvenient, annoying and completely impossible to decifer? My idea involves a WHITEBOARD!
Lady Smaggle – Hm… I’m thinking…no. The system I have is great. I’ve been using it for two years and it hasn’t failed me once. I don’t care if you’ve already bought the whiteboard. The answer is no.
Browny – But I’m really stubborn and I want to change it.
Lady Smaggle – No. (Insert list of reasons why it’s a really stupid idea here) Now shut up bitch and make me a coffee.
So I rock up to work this morning and that little cow has implemented the white board system. That bitch was counting the seconds until I left so she could do this. My drawer of crap is also gone. Where am I going to store my crap now?
I tell you what, that girl is so lucky she is thousands of kilometres away…
What’s getting your goat this week my lovelies?
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx
ps – I just got a Facebook message from Browny. White board RULZ FOR EVA! She is dead when she gets back.