Today’s rant? Picky eaters. They make me so angry. In order to pay my bills and buy pretty things I teach at special needs schools and let me tell you these kids and their freakin picky eating is giving me the right royal shits.
Take for instance the pineapple kid I came across last week. We were making pizzas in class and he didn’t want pineapple on his pizza. Fine. He made his pizza sans pineapple and was as happy as a clam. Excellent. Time to wash up. The kid ate every piece of pineapple left on every plate. Apparently he likes it by itself but not on his pizza. Get a grip! You either eat it, or you don’t. And what the hell are with his parents? And the teachers? Both pandering to his weird love/hate pineapple affair? When I was a kid you bloody well ate what you were given or you copped the wrath of Mamma Smaggle. There just wasn’t the option to not eat a certain type of food. It’s these kind of kids that grow into the adults that hate parsley and won’t even eat food that is sitting next to it. Oh and those losers that order a single meal at a restaurant while everyone else gets a banquet because they ‘don’t like the sound of chinese broccoli’.
Don’t get me wrong. Allergies and personal preferences are fine. Mr Smaggle is allergic to wheat and several of my close friends are vegetarian. Not an issue. I even have a vegetarian friend who quite happily picks the meat out of her meal and throws it to her carnivore boyfriend. Loving it. What I hate is when people flat out refuse to eat a certain food because they are being a little princess or when people are inconsistent with their likes and dislikes. I’ll be honest here, I’m not the biggest fan of carbs. We all know this, but if I go to a friends house and they make me rice I’ll damn well eat it. I also hate fruit in savoury dishes but if someone serves it to me I’ll eat it (except Mamma Smaggle. I have family immunity so I’m allowed be a fussy bitch about her revolting sultana cous cous). Unless the offending food item is going to make you break out in hives or need an adrenalin shot, quit being a pussy and eat the damn thing. Oh and what about those people who harp on and on about how much they hate marzipan and then one day you catch them eating a butt load of it? Food hypocrisy makes my brain hurt in bad places.
That brings me to my next point. Smug vegans. Two words for you – BLOW GOATS. I used to work with a lovely Vegan lady who very quietly ate her virtuous cruelty free diet while the rest of us carnivores feasted on the fluffy cuteness of our four-legged friends. Upon meeting her partner (also Vegan) I quizzed him on the nature of his diet in a very respectful and interested way. ‘May I ask why you follow a Vegan diet? I’m just curious because it’s such a big commitment and it must be very difficult at times.’ I asked in all my wide eyed innocence. Just as I was a lifting a forkful of Thai beef to my lips he replied ‘Well it’s really just my moral standing. You see, I liken eating meat to punching a baby in the face’. I’m sure he intended for me for me to feel shameful about my heathen diet but I just thought ‘You dickhead’.
In all honesty, I don’t give a crap what people do and don’t like. Which means that I don’t want to hear about it. So here’s a message to the public – unless you have an allergy, a medical condition, or are a well-behaved vegetarian or vegan get over it and swallow the freakin eggplant. It won’t kill you.
What about you poppet pie? Feel like sharing the angst?
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx
17 Comments
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I hate fruit in savoury dishes too! I’m so pleased it’s not just me.
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As a vegan, I can see both sides…
I understand it can be very hard to accommodate a vegan, and I’ve always done my best to walk the line between maintaining my moral stance, while not apologising for it.
But I also understand how frustrating it can be to see so much unnecessary suffering – people telling you how they’re animal lovers while eating meat, people telling you that ‘cows like being milked’, telling you that there’s nothing wrong with fishing as long as you release them… do you mind if I pop down to the local school and spear some kids, as long as I release them? For a lot of ‘us’, cruelty against animals is just as unacceptable as cruelty against people – no more, no less – and it’s not something you just shut off, un-know or stop seeing.
If we were all a little more compassionate and understanding, the world would be a better place.
And my mum makes a rice salad with sultanas in it… icky! ;o)
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I hate fruit in savoury dishes, and that includes pineapple on pizza. But I will happily eat pineapple on its own. So I’m not sure who I’m siding with here, you don’t like the kid that doesn’t want pineapple on its pizza but you don’t want fruit in your savoury dishes either…
I’m a pescetarian and a few dipshits have accused (to my face) vegetarians and pescetarians of just being picky eaters. But that’s bullshit. I can’t stand the thought of chewing on the flesh of land animals and birds, but I don’t care so much when it comes to water dwellers. I also don’t mind animal fats, and broths, as long as I don’t eat pieces of meat.
I’m totally confused about your rant. It’s ok to have preferences but not be picky…I don’t care what you like/don’t like but leave your rant in the comments?
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Hmmm… I’m a carnivore and I love fur and leather. My ideal meal involes eating a medium-rare cut of veal, while reclining on a leather sofa, draped in mink coat.
But I digress…
I am not allergic to anything, and I’ll eat almost anything, with the exception of offal, and mushrooms. The SMELL of mushrooms cooking is so offensive to me that I have to leave the room or I start retching and gagging like a freak. I’m just completely repulsed by them. I had a 30-hour date once, which involved a very sweet and clumsy breakfast at a cafe. Things were going swimmingly, and I was doing my best to keep my neurosis in check, and then bang – out came his plate of bacon and mushrooms, and of course I had a violent reaction and killed the mood.
Never the less, that pineapple kid is a bit of a spanner. If i get mushrooms on a pizza I rarely even notice.
Xx
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LMAO!!! Oh, I ll have a rant…A few months ago my partners brother called to say he would be in town and he wanted to bring his new girlfriend over for dinner. Cool, no worries was looking forward to meeting her.
Well, I cooked a meal from scratch, spent about 2 hours in the kitchen on a Sunday evening cooking a meal for us…
They arrive at our house…..only for the new girlfriend to tell me as I was serving up dinner that she doesnt like pasta (I had cooked spaghetti for a carbonara dish), she doesnt like mushrooms (mushies in the carbonara sauce), she doesnt eat salads (served a bowl of salad on the side), and she doesnt like cheese (parmy in the sauce)… So that night all she had for dinner was a piece of garlic bread I also served with the meal….
OMFG, What a nightmare this women was…I have a 3 year old addicted to salads/vegies, wheatgrass shots, chickpeas and fruit, so I count myself as one of the “lucky” ones who doesnt have a picky child, but I do understand your grief!!
I have to ask everywhere we go about nuts as my girl is anaphalactic to the darn things. 🙁 -
Oh come on, I don’t see how you can say “personal preferences are fine” and then the personal preference to not have pineapple on pizza is not fine? There have to be foods that you are happy to eat separately but not in combination. Is it worth making that big of a deal about – at least he’s eating! Go, pineapple kid!! Don’t let ’em get to ya.
It actually sounds like your special needs kids are pretty low-key in their peccadilloes. Did you ever read Riti Sped’s blog. Lordy.
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What really kills me is people who claim to be allergic, just to get out of eating something they don’t like. You’re not allergic, you’re just an asshole.
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I WOULD EAT THE DELICIOUS EGGPLANT BUT I’M FRICKIN ALLERGIC! It’s one of the great tragedies of my life.
I think what you are really pissed off about is rudeness. It’s not that it’s a problem to be a picky eater or a vegan or whatever, it’s the fact of being rude to other people about their eating habits (and rudeness runs the full gamut, from refusing to eat a dish that someone has cooked you simply because you don’t like eggplant/pineapple/broccoli/whatev, to comparing eating meat to punching a baby in the face).
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Mr Smaggle loves my sultana cous cous! Oh and I think your rant was misunderstood by some…. its all about the public carry on for you and not really about the pickiness!
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Nadist – Long standing feud between and me and mamma smaggle!
Enny – I totally agree. And I hate the meat industry as much as any vegan but I have read so many nutrition books and I just can’t fight the fact that my body needs meat. I’ll only be happy when I have my own farm and can do it the proper way!
Ms Constantine – Ha! Obviously the writing was a little more stream of consciences than I thought. I’m fine for people to have preferences and mine is not to have fruit in savoury dishes but hardly anyone knows this about me because I shut up and eat what ever is put in front of me. Oh and I don’t care what people like and dislike foodwise but I LOVE hearing about general rants. Hope that cleared it up! 🙂 I also completely understand vegetarianism and veganism but as I don’t try to force my carnivore beliefs on them I get the shits when they try convince me of the virtues of their diet.
Grant – As long it was and inwards battle that’s fine by me!
meaghan – that’s completely legit. Mr Smaggle and I are the same. See in that situation the bitch girlfriend should have just shut up and ate the bloody meal. Grrrr!
Serpentine – I think preferences are fine obviously but I think it’s bizarre that he literally picked the pineapple off and then ate it later. Oh and he chucked a MEGA tanty while making them. I omitted that from the main story. He is very high functioning also… enough to not annoy me!!! 🙂
annesleaze – Totally. I’m ‘gluten intolerant’ usually means ‘I’m on atkins!’.
Na – Oh love I know! And yes you totally get what I mean!
Mamma – He can’t eat cous cous! It must of been rice. It IS all about the public carry on. Thank you Mamma Smaggle!
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I get a little shirty with people who are vegetarians or vegans not because they are animal lovers or for any moral reason, but because it makes them feel special. I have an acquaintance who i’m sure is only vegetarian because it entitles him to query waitstaff about the content of the food, and be extra demanding. He doesn’t give a flying fig about animals. Once, i made him a birthday cake, and he refused to eat it because it had eggs in it, and he didn’t think a chicken should die just so he could have a birthday cake. The eggs you buy aren’t even fertilized! they are like a chook period, for effs’ sake!
Plus i find it a little rich when he lectures us about vegetarianism while wearing a honking leather trenchcoat and knee-hich leather boots. If you are going to wear the skin, you may as well eat the animal, otherwise it’s just a waste. -
Hmmm … pickyness is one thing but the rest of it is often just plain rudeness, passive-aggressive feckwittage or attention-seeking nonsense.
(Also – to rant is good! Contrary Mary-ness is allowed!!)Vegan/veggie is a choice – not a right to cast judgement on others (I’m a veggie and die a little inside when I read other people going on and on about how unfair it is that the world won’t instantly accommodate them and their bunny-huggin’ ways). Food allergies/sensitivities I can understand a bit of opera over – however – anaphylactic shock – I can totally see the need for a bit of attitude!!
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hahaha! This is great, I can be a picky eater a t times, to avoid extra fat, like things coated in mayo. Other than that I swear I’m pretty good!
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No… it was back in the beginning! It was definately cous cous… maybe he just ate it to be polite and was probably sick for days afterwards… bless!
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I heard a great one the other day – one of my colleagues recently published a book about food and eating in Australia (it’s called “Eating between the lines” by Rebecca Huntley – good read!). One of her findings, after a number of discussions with the public, was that many families these days are tailoring their eating around their youngest members. Basically, children tend to set the agenda of what the family eats.
I found this bizarre – when I was a mere lass (many eons ago) it was a case of “eat what you’re darn well given”. If we didn’t, the alternative was to go hungry. I was expected to try a new food at least 3-4 times before I was allowed to declare that I didn’t like it.
Then again, I don’t have kids – perhaps when I do I’ll understand 🙂
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I am a non-smug vegetarian. My ‘turning point’ was when I realised that if I, personally, couldn’t go out and kill a lamb to eat it, I have no right to eat it myself. I don’t shove that down people’s throats, but when people ask me why I am a vegetarian I state that as one of my main reasons. So my rant is, I HATE when omnivores reply “Oh, that’s a good point, but if I was starving in the desert I think I could kill an animal for food.” I’m not talking about a life or death situation! I just couldn’t justify killing a cow every time I feel like going to McDonalds!
I also hate when omnivores are all sanctimonious and say things like “But humans NEED to eat meat” and “Where do you get your protein from?” when they a) actually haven’t the first clue about nutrition and b) when I haven’t done anything to provoke them into attacking my dietary choices.
I should never come to your house to eat, though. Vegetarianism aside, I am the pickiest eater and I would probably drive you mad. Funnily enough though, I was even more picky before I was a vegetarian…
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Nessbow – Oh totally! And those ‘gluten intolerant’ chicks that just don’t eat carbs. Grrr!
E – I agree. I just think that it’s rude for people to be fussy if it’s not life threatening.
Eyeliah – Just quietly in the comfort of my own home I am too! But in public I’m a saint.
Mamma Smaggle – Ha ha! Probably! Do you feel bad now?
Emma – That’s ridiculous! Honestly. I can’t think of one food that I don’t eat. There are some I’m less fond of but I eat them. And I’m the youngest child! Ha!
Poppy – Good point. I was actually discussing with Mr Smaggle that I would be a lot more comfortable with eating meat if I reared myself. Although I only really eat fish and I could probably cope with catching and eating them.
