I went shopping yesterday. At a mall. That was my first mistake. Here are a few facts that made me chuck the biggest shopping tanty that I have had in a long time…
* Everything sparkles. Even things that shouldn’t. Like tracksuit pants and leather bags. Why must everything SPARKLE??? I’m not against a bit of glitter and I must admit I am bit of a diamante fiend but I would love to buy a plain t-shirt or a pair of jeans that doesn’t have that fine sheen of glitter that appears to be mandatory these days.
* Everything is ambiguous. I’m talking about those weird floaty garments that are either long tops or short dresses and no one seems to able to tell which. Are they supposed to be both? Is that even possible?
* Children are mini adults. I saw these 8 year olds in Valley Girl yesterday (I wasn’t shopping there… I was… doing a survey…) and they were terrifying. They were all wearing high heels and make up and the ring leader was grabbing hangers of the rack and flinging them at her friends saying ‘Oh my god this is so you!’ and ‘Mischa Barton has a dress JUST LIKE THIS!’ I wanted to hold guns to their heads make them wear shorts and t-shirts and force them to build a cubby house and rub mud in their hair. I sincerely hope they were only playing up their behaviour because if they weren’t their parents have a lot to answer for.
* Shop assistants have no people skills. Okay I understand that it is their job to ask how I am and if I need any help with anything. Asking me once is fine. Any more than once (and by that I mean twice) I get so damn irritated that I usually leave the store in disgust. All I want is a ‘Hi how’s your day going?’ to which to I reply ‘Good thanks and you?’ and she says ‘Yeah not too bad, just give me a yell if you need a hand with anything’ and then I say ‘Thanks’. We then ignore each other until purchase time. I do not need a ‘Hi can I help you there?’, ‘Is there anything I can help you with?’, ‘Can I help you with anything in particular today?’ every thirty seconds while I am in the store. I also don’t need 15 year olds to call me ‘sweetie’. Or ‘babe’. And I hate it when they follow me around and comment on everything I pick up like it’s the coolest thing on earth. Just chill okay? If I like it I’ll buy it and if I don’t I’ll take it and shove it up your nose. That’s what you get for annoying me while I am trying to shop.
* There are never enough toilets. And there is always one woman who seems to think that she is immune to the toilet que system. Usually women over the age 75 and women with babies.
Anyone else care to share a shopping rant? It helps to talk it through…
10 Comments
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Ha ha will do Glam! I don’t deal well with crowds. Oh and by the way I keep trying to comment on your site (which I love!) but because I am not a google blogger it won’t let me and the account locked me out. Just letting you that I love it when you comment and would love to return the favour and I am trying to figure out how! 🙂
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Thanks Tasj!
I totally agree with you! I’ve been a shop assistant so I know it can be awful at times but really it’s not rocket science people!Thanks for all your comments! I adore it!
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Becca – Oh I know! And it’s like your boss just doesn’t get that no one likes that. I had so many arguements with my boss about customer service. Needless to say I don’t work there anymore either!
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I suggest you stay far away from the shops come Boxing Day. FAR FAR FAR away.
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HAHAHA OMG your blog is the best! “force them to build a cubby house and rub mud in their hair” … god i feel the same way!
materialisticness in general is AWFUL to bring children up in. kids these days should be no different to kids any day.
i personally hate it when you’re waiting around in the queue to buy something but the assistants are ‘busy’ gossiping or painting their nails or doing whatever it is they do on their planet. you sigh and cough loudly and still noone moves to open a till or even look at you!
isn’t this their JOB!? that they get PAID for? -
I definitely feel the same way about the shop assistants. When I worked at Bath & Bodyworks we were basically forced to do stuff like that and I hated it. Needless to say, I didn’t stay there long. 🙂
And little kids like that creep me out.
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This isn’t really a shopping rant (I think you covered all the bases) but more of a goddammit-can’t-kids-be-kids rant.
I was out having dinner last night and I saw two eight year old boys playing with their incredibly expensive looking mobile phones while eating dinner. Now, for one thing, THEY WERE EIGHT YEARS OLD. WHAT EIGHT YEAR OLD NEEDS A MOBILE PHONE?! And secondly, wtf does an eight year old need a mobile phone at the dinner table for. No wonder people are rude.
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Stumbled across your blog – love it. I’ve just returned to Oz from overseas and am trying to find more good Melb/Syd blogs to enthuse me about living in this colonial outpost again.
Fantastic post – I thought YES, YES, YES with every point you made.
Glitter is fantastic for tutus, please get it out of everything else. Especially frickin lipstick, I am not 5. Bling is so over, all evidence to the contrary.
As for ambiguity, couldn’t agree with you more. Life is hard enough without having to decipher clothes. If it takes more than 1 second to work out whether something is a top, skirt or dress, I’m not interested.
I HATE mini-adult children. They gross me out. You should have gone up to the brats you saw and told them that if they are not careful, they’ll end up like Britney’s little sister.
Sales assistants without people skills: I reckon the ones I dealt with this arvo were crapper than yours. I went into Dinosaur Designs in the Strand Arcade today determined to buy something. I was clearly not browsing and clearly wanted help, but had to wait ages for service. The staff were snooty and surly. When I finally managed to make my purchases, the useless shopgirl wrapped them (beautifully), then left them on the counter and went to do something else. Clean forgot to actually GIVE THEM TO THE CUSTOMER. I stared at her to ascertain whether or not she was from another planet and then she finally remembered to hand the stuff over. As I left, I commented politely “the service was really bad in here today, you guys might want to look into it”, and she actually look surprised and said “really?”
Lack of toilets didn’t bother me overmuch today… about the only thing that didn’t. Sorry if I sound like a moody cow, I had a bad day today.
keep up your beautiful blog!
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Carla – Ha ha yes it’s a ‘I hate people’ rant thinly disguised as a shopping rant. I just find that most of the people I hate seem to follow me around malls…
Gervy – Don’t even START with me and Dinosaur Designs. I used to work for a jewellery boutique and they are really hard to deal with. Unfortunately I love their stuff so I’ll just have to deal with it. Thanks for the sweet comments! I adore you! 🙂
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