Infidelity – Is it really undefinable?

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What’s your definition of cheating on your partner? I’ve been spending the afternoon reading an old stack of magazines and I came across an article in which the female writer claims that flirting, raunchy emails and developing emotionally revealing relationships counts as being unfaithful to your partner. My first reaction was repulsion, purely because I’m a total horn bag and I flirt with anything that moves – men, women, trees – and I would be devastated if anyone, especially Mr Smaggle, construed that as being unfaithful.

As I thought more about this I realised that my whore-like flirting is in fact my saving grace. It doesn’t discriminate, no one is safe from it and I do it in broad day light. I’ll often come home to my man and have a brag that I flirted my way to a discount when I got my car washed or that a guy asked for my phone number in a bar.  And I’m sure he would do the same if he had any clue when people are flirting with him. I have to point out to the sweet creature when he is getting sexy eyes from the girl making his coffee or when the gay guys at Saba give him a discount that’s a little too generous. The point I’m making is that fundamentally speaking, we are animals and just because some of us have chosen to partner up doesn’t automatically make us devoid of our natural desires. I still check out other guys. Mr Smaggle checks out other girls. I check out girls FOR Mr Smaggle and point out the ones with awesome tits. We know it’s only window shopping or like going to an art gallery or something. No harm done, but lets consider this – being in a committed relationship doesn’t stop you from being desired by other people either and I believe this is where the blurred lines of infidelity start to wreak havoc on our relationships. 

Obviously a little harmless flirting is fine but what if your partner feels desired by this person? More desired than you make them feel? What if they develop a serious emotional relationship? What if he or she was sending this person emails divulging information about your relationship? What if, at the end of everyday, your partner wants to talk to this person instead of you? Is that really any better than having sex with them? Is it more forgivable? I would argue that it’s just as harmful to threaten the emotional connection in your relationship. It is, however undoubtedly easier to forgive an emotional infidelity than a sexual one. If you come across a few secret text messages or a couple of naughty emails there’s this sense of having stopped the affair before it happened. Is that really the case though?

Perhaps it is. I had a partner cheat on me once, emotionally and sexually, and all I could think of was the physical betrayal. I didn’t give a toss about the evening phone calls, divulgences of life ambitions or the closeness that they shared. It was the simple act of him sticking his dick where he shouldn’t have. Hate to be crass but it was like a disgusting porn reel in my head for months after we broke up and don’t even start with me and the dirtiness of it all. The thought of sharing my toothbrush makes me want to hurl so you can imagine the mega brain spasm occurrence when my OCD gland got a hold of that information. *Shudder*

So what do you think? Emails and texts – do they count as cheating? Or does your partner need to commit a physical act for it to officially be a betrayal? Or does the physical act just totally annihilate the emotional affair so that it becomes redundant? Does an emotional cheat hurt more when it’s not followed by a physical one?

Just curious about my reader’s opinions on this matter. 

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx