Today I hate…
* Rude people. I was having a rather civilised conversation with a coworker and another (rather forceful) person entered our office, without knocking and proceeded to completely interrupt our conversation. I have no idea what she was talking about because she was addressing someone else and I refused to cease my conversation just because the manner-less wonder is clearly devoid of all social graces. So we just screamed over the top of each other until she got her point across and left. She actually parked her annoying butt IN BETWEEN myself and the lady I was having a conversation with. Spacial and social awareness people!
* The really shitty toasted sandwich that I ate for dinner last night. Courtesy of Mr Squiggle. It was pungent with the taste of his bad attitude at having to make dinner when he really didn’t want to. One should never cook when cranky.
* My own hypochondria. Browny told me that if you squeeze a pimple that’s in the area in between your eyes the pus shoots backwards into your brain and you basically drown, inwardly, in your own diseased fluid. It may or may not be true but being fully aware of this ‘fact’ I chose to recklessly indulge in a little facial archaeology yesterday and squeezed a spot that was smack bang in the danger area. My left eye is all blurry today and I’m now convinced that I have a brain tumour. It’s ruining my generally sunny disposition.
* When my bum itches from sitting on the grass.
* Useless people. Just big fat wastes of space. I don’t feel like I need to elaborate on this point. You know who you are. And if you don’t, everyone else does and hates you. Peace out, losers.
Come on! Jump on board the Cranky Pants Brigade!
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx
18 Comments
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I am feeling like one of those wastes of space today. But don’t hate me…I am very fragile…
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My Dad calls useless people oxygen thieves. Harsh and I do try to refrain from using what I actually think to be an apt label, but it’s good isn’t it?
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We all have days when we’re definitely not so sparkly… I’m not feeling so shiny myself today. What’s making me cranky?
*My self-imposed dating hiatus… while I know it’s the right answer, it just makes me feel like shit when I hear about my friends romantic picnics that they don’t even appreciate they get.
*Ahem… being a woman, if you know what I mean. Cramping hard.
*Just now, realising that I’m going to have to knit non-stop for the next couple of days to get this birthday present finished on time… I should have just bought something cheap and cheerful from a shop.
*The fact that I was sick last week and NO ONE out of the three people who worked on the desk last week did any filing. So disappointing.
*Getting bitched out by Sister #1 for not doing what she wants me to do around the house, when I already do plenty. Example “You never cook dinner!” – uh, I work from five until late Mon-Thurs, you willing to wait that late? I fold all your million pairs of skinny jeans, they don’t just arrive by magic in your room, idjit. And last time I checked it was our parents’ roof we lived under, not yours.
*People cancelling on the beach trip this weekend at the last minute. I’m now out on their shares of the rental and I’m the only student budget in the group. Not to mention it’s impossible to get anyone else to replace at short notice.Lots of small stuff, but it adds up to my matte finish today.
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Do you know that one of your adsense ads read “stop anal itching” hehehe 🙂 Thanks for the giggle.
Sorry you had such a bugger of a day – xox -
I wonder why sitting on grass makes your bum itchy?? Even when you are wearing knickers, etc? Weird.
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By the way – that was a rhetorical question. 🙂
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Funny post – love the ‘drown, inwardly, in your own diseased fluid. ‘
My moan is: – being reviewed just before christmas and not knowing if I will have a job in the new year!
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Rude people drive me absolutely mad, I can’t stand it!
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Oh man, I was just thinking this today! Rude people are at the top of my ‘things that make you go GRRR’ list. You know what’s worse than having an itchy bum after sitting on the grass? Having an itchy bum WITHOUT having sat on grass :-I.
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This evening I was meant to be having dinner with my dad and sister, which was great, until he decided to ambush me witha quick visit to his mother’s house. I know people will hate me for what I am about to say, but I cannpt stand her. She stole my deceased uncle’s life insurance and had a SECOND facelift AND a trip home to Finland!!! Then, after not recognising me when I walked through the door (which is just as much my fault because I never visit her as a result of the afore mentioned ugliness), she proceeded to ask me what I wanted for a Graduation gift. She’s going to buy me a gift with my dead uncle’s money! Honestly, who does that?
A C*NT! That’s who!
Xx
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* people who ring on production day every single week, even though I always tell them I’m on deadline, and then talksofastyoucan’tevengetonewordin to make them hang up.
* sore feet from too-tall shoes worn days ago. And sunburn on the bits I can’t quite reach when carefully suncreaming.
* people not noticing my new hair when it’s patently obvious to me. Not even my mother…
But on a nicer note, Lady Smaggle, I saw your play on the weekend. The director used to conduct my band and I went to high school with … Doug.
Twas brilliant; I loved it the whole way through. -
oh let me rant… my biggest being that i don’t have time to rant in full because i’m getting asked to do things that are not my responsibility. That and i am STILL cleaning after a nameless someone destroyed my house on saturday….Boo!!!
thanks lady… i feel better now 🙂
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Don’t worry Lady Smaggle, Dr. Stumpy says you can not get a brain infection from your own pimple puss. I know these things.
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Oh sweetie if squeezing zits made you grow a brain tumor and die I’d have been dead years ago. I’ve heard this too, but I always wonder if it’s one of those things mothers tell you so you don’t wreck your face in a pop-fest. Sort of like how you’re not supposed to tweeze over your eyebrows- well guess what? Sometimes you just have to. “Facial archeology” made me giggle.
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Jordan Best – You are so far from useless my lady…
katiecrackernuts – I love it! Perfect description!
Lux – Ha ha! That’s awesome! Thanks for letting me know!
Scribbles – Oh love! I think a self inflicted single time is exactly what you need. It opens you up in the future to be a complete and independent person when someone amazing comes along.
Kerrin – Of course I was wearing knickers! When I saw bum I mean general buttock and thigh area!
Abstar – Oh lame!
Vixel – Me too! And it’s totally the time of year for it too!
Erin – ha ha! tis true!
Grant – Whoa! That was a mega share! Although… how fabulous! I total bitch of a mother. Very dramatic.
Kerces – Oh cool! That totally made my day! I love Adrian he is such a gem and the director is so tops. You should have hung around after to say hi! I don’t bite!
Miss A – Me too! And because I’m a bitch I always do a half-arsed job to punish them and then I hate myself for it.
Dr Stumpy – Thank you! I’m still getting my eyes checked tomorrow!
Heather – There is no other word for it when it comes to squeezing. I literally dig holes in my face.
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Hahaha I’m sorry but your rant was quite hilarious! Just picturing the situation with that awful woman is so comical 🙂
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MizzJ – Seriously this woman is hilarious. It’s like working with Dawn French.
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The zit thing is, unfortunately, very true.
A friend of mine recently squeezed one in that area and ended up with a weird internal abcess thing, which then poisoned her blood. She was on the verge of having encephalitis. Fun times.
Probably won’t stop me popping my pimples though….!
