Roomy Smaggle (my super awesome Melbourne housemate. She’s a Japanese/German goddess glass artist/jeweller who spews sunshine all day long. I love her) and I caught our tram a mere two stops down the road to eat dinner with Co-Dependent Smaggle (one of my gorgeous best friends from Canberra – we’ve found ourselves as new Melbourne residents and we are clinging to each other like children being ripped from their mother on their first day of school) and her delightful house mate. We ate roast, drank wine and chatted the evening away. The delightful housemate of Co-dependent Smaggle then asked the following question – ‘What is an appropriate word for female genitalia  when having a casual conversation? Specifically, the equivalent of dick or cock?’
As dirty minded as I normally am, I have to admit I was stumped. We bandied around the usual – vag, pussy, pink bits, beef curtains… But none of them seemed appropriate. Certainly not the dreaded ‘c’ word. So my lovely readers I’m turning it over to you. When having a casual conversation about the lady… area… what word do you use?
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx
p.s Melbourne is going to do wonderful things for this blog. Can’t you tell?
47 Comments
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This is a tough one! I say “vag” most often, I think.
I must admit I say the C word more often than I should, as well.
On a similar note, my friends and I were wondering recently what the male version of a cocktease is. I came up with “clit-tickler”, which I was very proud of, but even that doesn’t have the same resonance as “cocktease”. What do you think?
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We girls on the Frankie forum like to be fancy and say ‘fan-wah’….
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Well, where I’m from I would go with fanny or quim. But fanny means a completely different thing where I live now, and quim probably doesn’t mean anything at all.
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Vagina. It’s totally correct and it’s not a particularly horrible word.
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Slit; Bearded Clam; Flesh Mitten; Moot… I’ll keep thinking…
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My niece says fufu, which I think is kinda… yuck. I think fifi is another one (Fee just posted about prisoners making ‘fake fifis’ for their lonely pleasure… tee hee).
I’d rather just say vag. or pink bits. or drop the c bomb.
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Pussy?
I can’t say Fifi because I have a friend called Fifi and that is just wrong!
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beaver? bush? heh.
>> Melbourne is going to do wonderful things for this blog. Can’t you tell?
Already showing ! 😀
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I think Oprah said it best. Va-J-J! I love it lady, you are always entertaining. You make me want to move to austrailia and hang out! 😉
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ba-jingo.
hoo-hoo.
(my mind is awash with Scrubs quotes, ah Elliot Reid, what a riot…)
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My friend has got me using “vaginne”. It doesnt sound too rude!
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Elliot Reid! LOVE!!!!
Why don’t you all say ‘vulva’, girls? (Hahaha.) I say ‘parts’. Yeah, I’ve got little kids.
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cha cha or cooch lol what a random topic
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vajayjay all the way!
love u lady smaggle! -
This is something I’ve agonised over muchly (in the context what would I teach my daughter to call hers if I had one) and it seems that the accepted word (in Scotland, anyway) is fanny.
When i speak to my boyfriend call it mouse, long story how that came about. I think its quite a fitting name though and I have tried to say it to other people too, but it hasn’t caught on. I suppose it would make things really confusing if you tried to call it that in front of kids.
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Ladybits
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vag…. or vaginne, pronounced the way Borat says it. you know what word for vagina that just sounds gross? FLANGE. Eww. It makes me shudder. (Has anyone else heard this word used for the ladyparts, or was it just me and the girls i went to high school with?)
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Fanny! But that doesn’t work in the States (I’m in the UK). Do Australians use fanny like that?
The little girls I know say foo, which is quite sweet I think.
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Giney most of the time or vajayjay.
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Muff. UK based, mind
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Lady parts. Definitely.
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We call it “the kitty” Seems harmless enough for polite conversation. If I knew anyone to have a polite conversation with that is…
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When my friends and I are talking about unpleasant things, like periods and infections, we call it cooter. When we are talking pleasant things like sex, and sex, and sex, we call it cookie, because it is good, and our guys like to eat it! TMI?!?!
Sorry for being so blunt, but you asked for it! LOL
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Fanny! You’re Australian, sweets, so say “fanny!” with pride! Most Aussie kids only became aware that fanny could refer to other bodily parts when watching episodes of The Nanny circa 1994. You know the bit in the theme song where she “falls on her fanny”? As a ten year old I loved the imagery of Fran Drescher landing full frontal on her vagina.
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My sister likes to say moot, but I think it sounds a bit crass. I am quite partial towards Vajayjay, and my all time favourite – cunny!
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oh oh, refer to this for ideas: http://www.rathergood.com/hedgehogs
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Vagin (French for vagina, so said with a French accent), lady bits, flower, lotus, vagina or when I just want to shock……cunt x
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cho-cha. HATE the c-word, ESPECIALLY when said by boys. awful!!!
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In England we use Fanny or Vagina. I perosnally cringe at Fifi, fluff, front bottom, flower etc.
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My fave word is ‘noo-noo’ or ‘noo’. I use it all the time with my little girl since she’s been a baby….it doesn’t offend and people aren’t always gonna know what ur talking about. 🙂
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Front bottom is funny in a polite/nana kind of way!
Fanny is what I use so gets my vote. -
Ohhhhh . . . now I get it. Just watched Rove last night (we don’t get it until Friday in NZ). Seems it’s his new “who’d you turn gay for?” question. He called it ‘hoo-ha’.
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it’s a snatch, in’t it?
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Vagina is appropriate but, even then, I use vag.
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Haha! This is an interesting post… I do like beaver, and it reminds me of the Kotex ads… I think we need to vote on one girls & then start using it as much as possible
when I was a kid I called it a “whizza” but I now work in childcare & we are encouraged to use the correct words of penis & vagina with the kids… but it doesn’t really explain the whole thing like the urethra & vulva & all the other complex parts to our ‘bits’! Boys have TWO parts to name, it seems like we have about a billion!I admit I say cunt more than I should, it’s kind of offensive to others though & my friend Jenny got me saying Vajayjay too. Haha.
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I always go with ‘twat’, pronounced with a hard ‘a’ (as in ‘wanker’), not a soft ‘a’ (as in ‘what’).
I do love the c word though, and drop it as often as possible…
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Lady bits, always. And my period “Lady Time.” This all brings a whole new meaning to your weekly “Lady Likes” posts, eh? 🙂
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This is a totally relevant discussion! As the awesome Liz Lemon points out on my favorite show, 30 Rock, when a man calls a woman a “cunt,” it’s ridiculously unfair because there is NO equivalent thing that she can call him back! The connotations of genitalia slang are totally lopsided.
It does seem like “vajayjay” is a casual slangish term that can be used casually, with basically no negative baggage, but it also has that slight feeling of silliness, that “dick” (somehow) doesn’t always have. So the quest rages on…
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I taught my son to say muff. It was all very sweet and innocent until he got to preschool and the teacher disapproved..
I say muff, chocha, twat, girl bits or snatch. And despite the fact that I’m nearly 25 and have two kids I cannot for the life of me say Vagina without giggling and blushing.
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Haha – love this topic!
Often refer to it as my ‘petunia’ with girlfriends and my ‘poonani’ (sp?) with husband!
‘Smoo’ or ‘Smoot’ are my absolutely least favourite!
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ooooh! ooh! awesome post. I vote for va-jay jay too..
also “honey pot” LOLz
and “punani”…. -
Haha … definitely the dreaded ‘c’ word. I drop it all over the place. Or vag. Quim if I’m trying to be amusing.But I generally hate vaginal euphemisms … I think they’re on the same level as calling vag “down there”.
Your blog has the best non-fashion detours!
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Chocha.
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I generaly drop the C bomb coz I kind of belive the more its used the less stigma will be attached, then we can own the word! I personaly have no real issue with the word but Iv been told by americans and australians that girls shouldnt say it bla bla. To which I always tell them that they are one.
But Punani is one of my favourites when Im being complimentary.
And muff in an unkind way like….”she was so drunk and her skirt was so short and you could see her huge muff”
The name front bottom makes me gag. ew.
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Late weighing in here, but I always go with “Girly Bits”, or when talking to my four year old – “front bottom”.
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Vag or cooch
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I like “muff” and “bits” as non-offensive terms. I saw someone said they used “kitty” which sounds sweet and innocent. The polar opposite of the c bomb (which I admit to over-using).
