Christmas Style Tips 2

It’s now one week till Christmas. Have we all been exfoliating and moisturising? And sleeping lots and drinking copious amounts of water? Good chickens! Now here is the one week countdown list…

* Finalise your outfit –If you haven’t bought an outfit yet don’t bother. It’s Wednesday and if you have a normal job chances are you won’t make it to the shops until the weekend. That being the WEEKEND BEFORE CHRISTMAS. I would rather stab myself in the face with a fork than go shopping this weekend. But before you get all sooky on me saying that you have nothing to wear have a look in your cupboard. You never know what you might find. Also you will probably be seeing people that you rarely see (extended family…etc…) so they won’t have seen most of your wardrobe. Don’t be put off by something you wear all the time. If it’s fits and it’s gorgeous and most people haven’t seen it go with it! Also ask around your friends to see if they have something you can borrow. Like your friend who looked effortlessly fresh and beautiful at that wedding a few months ago – steal her dress and away you go! For those of you that were good girls and bought your outfit last week like I told you to now is the time to start thinking about accessorising. Think carefully about what you will be doing on the day… Will a big chunky necklace work or will it drag through the condiments on the table and whack you in the head when you try play cricket? Just be sensible.

* Don’t give into temptation – I’m not talking about food. Hell it’s one week till Christmas how much damage can you do? I’m talking about those stupid impulsive things people do before big events like get their chins waxed and have derma-face-and-bum peels and other idiotic things. DON’T DO IT! Your normal every day skin is fine. If you have an impulsive facial one of two things will happen – 1. Your skin will feel lovely and soft. And no one will notice. 2. Your skin will break out and peel and you will look a melted Madam Taussad’s reject. And everyone will notice. (DISCLAIMER – The reference to how much diet damage can be done in a week was purely for entertainment purposes. I am fully aware that plenty of damage can be done in a week and I accept no responsibility if you take that glib statement seriously.)

* Start fake tanning – I think fake tan is hideous. I also think it smells like public toilets and cat food. And I hate that I can’t exfoliate or moisturise and that it wears of in streaks and settles in the dry patches on my legs. I am also on a crusade to embrace my paleness this year. But I am prepared to deal with the fact that few things are valued as highly in Australia than deep brown tan. Apparently it makes you much cooler. Whatever. For those of you who must start planning your tan now. Make a professional appointment if you can still get one but failing that buy a really good quality fake tan and take your time applying it. I recommend Johnson’s Holiday Skin. It gives a gradual build up so you don’t go over board and it’s a moisturiser as well. It still smells like kitty litter but not as badly as some others. And if you start now (exfoliate like a mofo before you do this!) you will have nice light tan for Christmas day. But that’s only if want to be a traitor to the porcelain skin campaign…

* Do all your facial hair removal – Hey we all get moustaches and chin hair so lets just acknowledge it and move on. Do this a week before Christmas to avoid that redness. Blessed with the flushiest skin in the southern hemisphere if I so much as point a pair of tweezers anywhere near my face I go red for about five days straight so I always like to do this well in advance. Also don’t rush this job. Facial hair removal is an art and should be treated as such. Again don’t give in to the temptation of giving yourself super thin and sharp celebrity eyebrows. Your normal tidy up will be fine.

* Wrap your presents and put them under the tree – Do it early because you will have so much other stuff to stress about you don’t want to be wrapping presents at the last minute. Plus if you have them wrapped and under the tree the people in your family will get the best present anticipation ever. It’s also a shame to wrap presents the day before Christmas because then they are wrapped for about thirty seconds and it’s a total waste. If you wrap them a week before you get more mileage out of your handiwork. It’s also depressing to have a Christmas tree with no presents underneath. Mama Smaggle has the most amazingly beautiful Christmas tree that’s all decorated in colour co-ordinated dusty pinks, greens and golds. And every Christmas I delight in choosing the most garish and hideously inappropriate wrapping paper to clash with her perfect tree. I already have my modern black and silver wrapped presents under her anal retentive antique gold monument of Christmas. She’s lucky though because last year it was orange and lime green…

Christmas Style tips 3 is on it’s way!