Don’t be dirty! I’m referring purely to physical appearance. The other day I was watching TV and this image of Leonardo Dicaprio circa Titanic flashed across the screen. My heart leapt to my throat and I got a wee little tingle in my nether-regions. Twelve year old Lady Smaggle had a serious Leo addiction that lasted a good four years and still rears its love-struck head occasionally. This fixation materialised in the form of Leonardo poster-wallpapered walls and several different combinations of ‘Lady Dicaprio’ ‘Lady Smaggle Dicaprio’ ‘Mrs L Dicaprio’ scrawled across every blank surface that I came into contact with. I’m now twenty-five and for some reason Leo still leaves me weak at the knees. Why? Because he possesses one of my Poonani Tinglers… those weird little physical quirks that will have you chasing an acne-ridden teenager down the street just because he has dreadlocks. Here is my list…
Floppy Leonardo Dicaprio Hair – Specifically, the scene in Titanic where he is sketching Kate Winslet and he keeps flicking his fringe out his eyes. Swoon. This Poonani Tingler is probably my strongest one. I once dated a guy because he had hair like this and I actually have difficulty speaking to pretty boys who stare at me through their floppy fringes. I know it’s terribly 90’s of me but I love it.
The Perfect Business Shirt Tuck – I have always had a thing for tailored pants with tucked in business shirts and shiny black belts. I love a neat, tight bum in business pants. I know it sounds dirty (and slightly illegal) but I very occasionally get a tingle from a well built boy in a school uniform. Only on an aesthetic level of course.
Dark, intense eyes – Not necessarily a dark colour, I mean dark in intensity. Like Giovanni Ribisi. It’s a bit creepy but I kind of like that beaten puppy look. It makes me want to make them tea and give them a bath.
Boys who wear lots of bracelets and rings – With tanned arms. Swoon.
Boys who are lovely to their girlfriends in public – Obviously these ones are off limits but there is nothing more sexy than a man who opens a car door for his lady or gives her sneaky kisses when he thinks no one is looking.
Long, lean boys – With the exception of one, all of my ex-boyfriends have been very tall and very slim. Just the way I like them. Mr Smaggle is physical perfection – six foot four, slim hips, broader shoulders and a deliciously toned torso. I love the way clothes fit him and I LOVE it when he leans against walls. Does anyone else understand the wall leaning thing?
Over to you poppets! What weird and wonderful things turn you on? Boys – please participate! What do you love in a potential lady?
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx