asked my lovely readers a few weeks ago what their biggest challenge is at Christmas time and I received three almost identical emails – all from single gals who are sick to death of hearing the question ‘So are you seeing anyone?‘ four thousand times over the course of the Christmas season.
Even though I’ve been with Mr Smaggle for just shy of a decade, before him I was very, very single. He was the first boyfriend that my extended family met so I had a good couple of awkward Christmases where I was the single one and inevitably I would be asked many times throughout the day how my love life was going. I felt a bit shit about being single because my gorgeous cousins always had boyfriends and it seemed like I was disappointing everyone by not having a significant other that they could torture on Christmas day. It wasn’t just Christmas day though, it was any time I saw people I hadn’t seen in a while and it was always ‘Have you got yourself a man?’ and I notice that things haven’t changed since I was single. For example there’s always this odd sense of relief amongst my peers when one of my single friends hooks up with someone in a serious way. It’s almost like we can tick them off the list and stop worrying about them. It’s stupid, particularly because no relationships are permanent and there’s actually not anything interesting about whether or not someone is in a relationship. 
So why does everyone get grilled about their divorce, unhappy marriage, permanent state of singledom at almost every festive gathering? I’ve certainly been guilty of thoughtlessly handing out these questions in the past so this year, I’m calling a stop to it. I do declare that I will not inquire about the relationship status of anyone over the Christmas season. I’ll be talking about other things instead. Want to join me? Here are a few suggestions for conversation if you’re stuck for topics.
What’s happening with work?
Have you been watching That Amazing TV Show?
Hey, if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be?
Tell me about that awesome roller derby team/knitting club/ukulele band you’re part of?
How was your trip to That Awesome Place?
Did you hear about That Awesome Thing That Happened?
If you could choose one superpower, what would it be?
If you could have dinner with three famous people, who would they be?
Of course if anyone wants to talk about how they hate being single, how they’re thinking of getting divorced, how much they love living alone or want to tell me about their hot new Italian lover they are more than welcome to. In fact, if you pour me a glass of red you can talk about relationships all night… but I will not be starting the conversation because there are way important things in the lives of single people than the fact that they aren’t dating anyone.[divider type=”standard” width=”1/1″ el_position=”first last”]
Will you take the pledge this year? Let’s take singles off the grill shall we?
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