This year I have come into contact with countless new people. I have new school mates, my first ever house mate, new friends of friends, new co-workers, a new postman… the works. In one of my new-found crowds I have come across a person who does not like me. I’m not being paranoid. She actually doesn’t like me. There is no reason for this, she’s just not Smaggle-friendly. This isn’t me fishing for compliments, I promise, this is just a vehicle for discussion.
Baldren Smaggle (my very handsome and rugged, yet teddy-bear like single older brother – email me if you’re interested!) once compared a friend of his to dark chocolate. He said that this friend was perfect in small amounts but if he had too much he got a headache. This got me thinking about how to deal with this Smaggle-hating situation we have going on here. Instead of getting all down in the dumps and wondering what the hell I did wrong I’m just going to embrace the fact that I don’t tickle this person’s fancy. Like seafood or sultanas the simple fact of the matter is that I’m just not what she is looking for in a friend. Which is so bloody enlightening I wonder I never thought of it before.*
For example, I hate chutney. Can’t stand the stuff. I actually don’t really think that it should qualify as a food. All my friends love chutney. Me, I think it ruins everything edible that it comes into contact with. But that’s just me. Do you see where I’m going with this? I’m her chutney. She just prefers her life without a side of Smaggle. No wuckers.
The only problem that I have with this scenario is that she hasn’t even TRIED my chutney. Maybe she had some bad preserved vegetable sauce experiences in the past but she should at least try to get to know me.
This makes me think that we humans pre-plan too much. We’re little scanning robots that judge each other’s appearances, jobs, families, hobbies and homes to see if they match our own. It’s ludicrous. Here’s a tip – how about we all just be nice to each other? Even if someone isn’t your cup of tea would it kill you to smile at them when you make your coffee in the morning? Or have a chat when you walk to your car in the afternoon? Hell no! So get over yourself.
You should never waste your friendship on someone who doesn’t deserve it but your kindness is never wasted, no matter how you use it. And the best defence against meanness is always to slap that whore with a good dose of sugary sweetness. That way she looks like a bitch and you smell like roses.
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx
* Disclaimer – I’m pretty sure Mama Smaggle preached the bejesus out of this through out my full six years of high school but because I’m recycling the information I can now claim ownership.