Very Excellent Habits

Someone Touched My Underwear And It Wasn’t My Boyfriend.

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It was a horrible little group of inconsiderate people at the laundromat.

Let me start at the beginning.

A few weeks ago our lovely friends came to take back their washing machine that they’d loaned us for that past year so we’ve been using the laundromat ever since. On Sunday afternoon my mate and I met at My Beautiful Laundrette – a gorgeous vintage style laundromat that’s just down the road from us. We used one machine each, shared a third, started up our loads and sat down in the laundromat with a bottle of Pinot Gris to drink away our waiting time.

I’m an extremely punctual person so I set my phone timer for 20 minutes. A load takes 22 minutes so that would allow me 2 minutes of picking-up-my-basket-and-walking-to-the-washing-machine time. There’s nothing more frustrating than having a basket full of dirty clothes that you can’t wash because the machines are full of wet, finished loads that don’t seem to belong to anyone so I always make sure to be promt and empty my washing machine nano seconds after the load finishes.

20 minutes later  my alarm went off, so we grabbed our baskets and went back to our machines. You can imagine my surprise and horror to find a family of three, carelessly flinging my clean clothes on the dirty laundromat table tops and dropping my pristine underwear on the filthy floor. I avoid confrontation at all costs but I was furious. I stalked up to them and said ‘I set my timer. The load’s only been finished for 30 seconds. Please stop touching my stuff.

They just shrugged and continued to empty the washing machine of my clothes. I was ropable. My mate thought this was hilarious. She’s never seen me that stressed or angry before. Nothing infuriates me more than rule breaking and rudeness. She dragged me outside for some fresh air and I watched in outrage through the window as this family thoughtlessly moved everyone else’s clothing baskets, took chairs that other patrons were using and jumped the queue in front of people that had been waiting for the dryers. They went to leave and my friend said ‘You should totally say something to them!‘.

They walked past me and I didn’t say a word. Then they crossed the road into the park and when they were just out of ear shot I yelled ‘YOU’RE TOTALLY GETTING BLOGGED ABOUT!!! ARSE FACES!!!!’

Because if you can’t muster up any actual aggression, passive aggression is a nice little substitute.

What’s the rudest public behaviour you’ve ever witnessed?

I once read about a woman (very tiny, 5 foot flat and built like Kylie Minogue) who was on a packed train in London and this business man in a suit tried to squeeze in next to her and wouldn’t fit. So he PICKED HER UP, set her back down on the platform and took her spot in the train. Can you beat that?

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