I totally suck at being cool with hard work paying off. I discovered this yesterday when two fairly minor good things happened to me. One was being hired for a shit-paying-but-fun writing gig and the other was having someone pass on an article of mine to someone Very Important. While firmly stating that this was no guarantee that the Important Person would give a shit with a caveat that the Important Person most probably wouldn’t give a shit.
My brain clearly thought this was equal to a monthly feature in Vogue and a meeting with Anna Dello Russo and promptly crapped out.
So what I did do? I dicked around all afternoon, swanning about my house, eating porridge, googling things. I was like ‘Two potentially great things might have happened as a direct result of my own productivity. I no longer need to try at life.‘
And that’s how I wasted an entire weekday afternoon. I’m not even sure what it was that I did but it involved lots of clothing changes. I was trying to find the most appropriate frock to sit around being a winner in. I made a cup of tea with a saucer. Because that’s what winners do. I also spent 2 hours making my Wii Fit Mii really fat and bald, then a princess, then Asian, then a transexual. I let my semi-success devour me.
I think today, I’m offering some advice. Don’t peak too soon. If three semi-interesting, bordering on okay events occur in the same day it’s probably best to get your guard on. Counter act it with premeditated acts of defence. Lick the face of a sick person. Throw out a $10 note. Cut your own hair. Anything to avoid that smug fog of achievement that leads to the total annihilation of productivity. Also… really, no one likes a show off. Check out the kid in the photo. He was too awesome with his magic trophy and shit got serious. Just be careful today. Okay?
Tell me… have you ever been too awesome?