Lady loves…
* A ‘sensible’ mid-week catch up with Browny turning into copious amounts of wine, Browny getting it on with a guy called Borat and me ending the evening with my head in the toilet on a work night. What, am I sixteen? Totally worth it though.
* Being told yesterday morning that I looked ‘fresh and lovely’ right as my liver was threatening to crawl right out my bum, run to the nearest police station and have an AVO taken out against me. Nothing like a completely unexpected compliment to get you through hang over hell.
* Biting people in weird places. Don’t be dirty! I just bit Mr Smaggle on the calf and it was really satisfying. I recommend that you try it. By the way is it ‘calf’ or ‘calve’? Google dictionary seems to think it’s both.
* Young girls who dress beautifully. I saw a stunning angel yesterday wearing a soft floral dress and stacks of bangles while all her friends were wearing arse-cheek cut off denim shorts. I applaud you, non-conformist teenager!
* Big Love Season 3. I stayed up until 2am watching it last night. Completely in love with Chloe Sevingy.
* Perfect Saturdays.
Lady loathes…
* Dora the Explorer. I’m going to kill the map.
* People who say stuff like ‘If I don’t feel comfortable driving at the speed limit then I don’t have to‘. Um… yeah you do. It’s the law. It’s a maximum and minimum speed give or take ten percent either side. If you don’t feel comfortable driving at the speed limit DON’T DRIVE.
* Finding out that spring rolls have 400 calories in them. 400! Why has this not been brought to my attention before? Ignorance is indeed bliss.
*Incompetent administration staff.
* Wii Fit. Passive aggressive little bastard. ‘Well, well if it isn’t Lady Smaggle? I haven’t seen you in a while, perhaps that’s why you’ve gained 400gms?‘. I live in Melbourne you douche bag and don’t ever tell me if I’ve gained 400gms. I could lose that with one really good fart. And ‘I haven’t seen Mr Smaggle in a while! How he is looking? Fatter? Thinner? The same?‘. It’s trying to turn us against each other… I think it’s watching me while I sleep.
* Not having enough time. Ever.
What about you bunny face? Anything lovely and yucky to share?
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx