This post was first published in 2015 but I think we all need a lil’ reminder!
It’s come to my attention recently that there’s a huge difference between what people think they’re passionate about and what they’re actually passionate about. For instance I’m ‘into’ health and fitness but if I won the genetic lottery with a naturally slim body and a ragingly effective metabolism, I’m 99% sure I’d never go to the gym or drink a green smoothie again. The healthy living thing is something I do and enjoy but it’s not something I’m passionate about.
Like one of my mates has ‘travel’ written as a passion on his Instagram account bio but he hasn’t left his home town in 6 years. When I quizzed him about it he said ‘Oh I love travelling but it’s so much work… the long flights, packing, trekking around hotels… I just couldn’t be bothered… but I totally love it!’.
I have to call a little bit of bullshit there. If you start saying ‘I couldn’t be bothered.’ regarding something that you’re supposedly passionate about, I think it’s pretty safe to say that you’re not very passionate about it. It’s the difference between liking the idea of something versus the reality of actually doing it. For instance sex on the beach seems like a good idea but in reality it’s pretty awful. The concept is fantastic – who doesn’t want a horizontal mambo with a glistening sea hunk while waves crash over your frenzied writhing? The reality is more like slowly drowning while someone repeatedly jabs you in the mouth with their tongue as a science fiction level influx of sand takes residence in your lady garden. The point is that you may think you like something but the act of doing it is just so much worse than you thought it would be.
So how can you tell if you’re actually passionate about something?
It’s all in the process. You have to love the process of doing the thing you love, or at the very least you need to be able to happily tolerate the process.
Take me for instance. I love singing and I’m not terrible at it but it’s not my passion. How do I know this? Because I hate singing lessons, reading sheet music annoys me, I don’t enjoy the discipline of having to do scales and I find warming up my voice really boring. I do these things when necessary, but I find the process of singing really tedious. It’s not my passion, I wanted it to be my passion, I’ve tried to make it my passion but trying to make passion happen is like forcing someone to love you. It’s just not something you can fake.
I know this because I have two passions that are like the Chandler to my Monica. I don’t even have to try with these passions – it’s a no brainer. I am totally, completely, head-over-heels-lets-buy-a-house-and-have-babies passionate about writing and acting.
I love writing because I love the process of writing – I love keeping folders in my phone of excellent words I want to use, I love deadlines, I love re-writes, I love hitting the publish button on my blog. I love acting but I also love the process of acting – read throughs, rehearsals, theatre bump ins, costume fittings, photoshoots. None of these things are particularly thrilling on their own but they all add up to my most favourite things in the world; writing an article that even one person loves or stepping out on stage on opening night of a play I’ve been rehearsing for months. The actual thing I love accounts for a very small percentage of the process but because I love the process it makes it worth it.
This doesn’t mean that I always totally love my passions. I hate formatting my writing. It drives me bonkers but it’s necessary to make my work readable. I hate, hate, hate learning lines. God I hate it so much but I happily tolerate it because it’s a necessary stepping stone in the process of living out my passions. Another thing to remember is that just because I do the things I’m passionate about doesn’t mean I’m any good at them and I don’t have to be good at them. Both my passions bring me joy so I keep doing them… and I don’t do the things that I’m not passionate about because it’s a waste of time.
Take blogging for instance. I’ve seen so many people struggle with it. They start, then they stop, then they start again and they beat themselves up over how much they struggle with it and I just wonder why they bother. It might sound harsh but if something is that difficult and it’s causing you stress then don’t bloody well do it. This is why I don’t play a musical instrument. I’ve fantasised about being a kooky violin player like the hotties in The Corrs but I’m just not passionate about music. I love music… but I’m not passionate about it.
I think it’s important to take a step back sometimes and have a look at the things that you like, the things that you love and the things that are your passion and dedicate more time to the things that you adore doing and less time to the things that you find mildly enjoyable.
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What’s your passion? Have you ever had a rogue passion? Something that masqueraded as a passion but was really a love?
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