was having a glass of wine with a mate of mine recently, let’s call her Tanya, and she casually mentioned that she had joined The Mile High Club. If you’re a sweet lil’ thang and you don’t know what the mile high club is, brace yourself as I’m about to tell you. It’s pretty much having sex a mile high. Like on a plane, helicopter or hot air balloon.
It’s notoriously difficult to orchestrate such an act hence why it’s a ‘club’ that you have to ‘join’. I find air travel stressful enough without having to worry about getting my rocks off too but for those of you that are interested in ticking this off your bucket list, here’s how to join the mile high club.
Don’t make friends in the lounge before the flight
Tanya and her beloved had planned to join the club a few months ago but their flight got delayed and they accidentally made friends with all of the other passengers on their lay over. It was very awkward trying to walk to the toilet together in front of all the people they’d just spent the day getting to know so they had to cancel their mission. If you’re determined to make your membership happen, it’s best to keep to yourselves during any delays.
Choose the right aircraft
The toilets on a 777 aircraft have doors that aren’t visible to the rest of the plane. Once everyone is asleep you can just seamlessly follow each other in there. Don’t even try to use the toilets where the doors are visible to the entire aircraft. I read on a forum (yes there are forums about this) that there’s a community of Anti-Mile High Clubbers who make it their duty to stop people from gaining membership so it’s best to be as discreet as humanly possible.
Fluff yourself in your seat
You don’t have any time to lose so make sure you start getting yourself in the right space physically and mentally. You’re not going to have a lot of time in the toilet so make sure you’re… ready… before you get up out of your seat.
…or be really hard up for sex
If frequency has an effect on your sex drive, make sure you’re a bit hard up by the time you’re on a flight. If you’ve just spent the week shagging your brains out in Paris, you’re not exactly going to be gagging for it on the flight home.
Choose your moment
The prime time, according to Tanya and some other very helpful plane-sex enthusiasts is a few hours into a long haul flight. Almost everyone else will be asleep and only skeleton cabin crew will be operating.
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Have you joined The Mile High Club? Are you interested in joining? Or could you not care less?
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