Here is an email conversation that I’ve been having with a little charmer that I like to call Loser. It’s a good one…
Loser – You charged me twice. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN??? ARE YOU INCOMPETANT???
Lady Smaggle – (after checking her perfect Virgo records) Actually what happened was you already bought and paid for the product once and then enquired if we had received your payment. I asked you for more details and you didn’t reply. You then, rather stupidly, and without consulting us bought and paid for the product a second time. I am happy to refund you the full amount although I should charge you the admin fee because this whole thing was your fault. If I could reach you, I would flick you in the face.
Loser – Well you HAVE to give me a refund because I’m a sooky la la. I also have no understanding of the fact that you are doing me a huge favour and I’m going to be a real whingy little pain in the arse. Blah, blah, blah, some crap about customer rights.
Lady Smaggle – Whatever. Here’s your refund. You’ll get a cheque in a few weeks. Quit being a bitch.
A few days later…
Loser – WHERE IS MY REFUND???? WHY IS THIS PROCESS SO TIME CONSUMING???? (This is an actual quote… what a nut bar)
Lady Smaggle – You’ll get a cheque in a few weeks. I gave you a full refund even though you bought another product without first consulting us. Just calm the fuck down.
Loser – Okay. Where did you send it? TO THE ADDRESS ON MY APPLICATION FORM???
Lady Smaggle – Yes. When people give me their addresses I generally assume that’s where they live.
Loser – BUT I’VE MOVED HOUSE!!!!
Lady Smaggle – Just give me your new address and I will send it there instead. Now run along to the doctor and have that big vein in your head removed before it pops and gives you permanent brain damage.
Loser – Thank you
I just don’t understand why people open the forum with aggression. All of the events that occurred were his fault yet instead of calmly trying to find a solution to his problems he yells at me until I point out what a stupid loser he is (very professionally of course) and then he thanks me for helping him. If people have anger management issues they should really seek help. And not breed.
What’s got your goat today my little sugar snap? Tell Lady all about it…
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx