Dear Aunties,
It was around Christmas in 2010 when I’d come back to my hometown to visit my family. I was lying on my stomach on my parent’s couch reading a magazine. My brother and my mother were also sitting on the couch. There was a weird silence in the air and my mother said ‘So are you going to tell your sister?‘. My brother replied ‘I’d rather not‘. He then revealed that his very recently ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his child.
With both of us being the children of the same sexual health nurse, I have to say this was quite a shock to my system. I’m fairly certain the only communication my brother and I had for the next two weeks was me opening and closing my mouth at him, like a goldfish and making no sounds. I actually had no words for an unplanned pregnancy in my life. I plan everything. I didn’t plan this.
At first, it was awkward. We didn’t know what to do. The expectant mother didn’t know what to do. We all fumbled through, doing the best we could. Being amicable but strained. Like sharing a pot of gold with someone who you’re not sure you trust. On both sides. It was… weird.
Then one day we had her. For the first time on our own. Our little girl. My brother brought her to my parent’s house. She was just starting to walk. She was this tiny little thing and none of us said a word. She was magical. I was mesmerised.
She turns three in July this year and it’s turned out to be wonderful. Her mother is doing an extraordinary job with raising her. My niece is kind and thoughtful. She respects other people and hates upsetting anyone. She’s terribly cheeky but she’s never naughty. This has nothing to do with my family, who see her twice a week. It’s her mother, teaching her every day, to be a good person. My girl is so inclusive and generous. She always wants everyone to be involved in her games and wants to share her treats with everyone. Her mother has taught her this and I’m grateful to her everyday for raising my girl to be such a lovely person.
Being an auntie is the greatest thing to have happened to me in my life. I’ve never felt this way about another child. Another person. I love my family. I love my parents and my brother. I love my partner, more than I thought I would ever be privileged enough to love another person. But… there’s something about my girl that makes me primal. I’m a lioness around her. It’s almost irrational. I’ve put my hand between a sharp table corner and her head on numerous occasions and felt no pain when my palm jammed into the hardwood. She has enthusiastically jumped into my arms and simultaneously kneed me in my nether-regions and I’ve hardly felt a thing. I’d literally jump in front of a bullet for her. It’s overwhelming. She’s made me love my family more, if that’s even possible. She’s made me see my mother as Nan, my father as Pop, my brother as Daddy and my partner as Uncle Ben. Christmas, presents, ice cream, colouring in and even my own hand bag are full of wonder and excitement. Being her auntie is joyous.
I’ve recently started thinking about my own aunties and how wonderful they’ve been to me in my life. It wasn’t until recently that I truly appreciated how important they are. They’ve always been these wonderful women who I can count on when my parents aren’t around. If I need a lift somewhere, a place to stay, $50 so I can get a cab home, someone to talk to. I always took it for granted. Being the niece. They’ve always been these assumptive extensions of my parents and I never really questioned it. They were there when I was cute and little, when I was being a brat, when I was sixteen and sullen and now that I’m an adult. The most important thing is that every one of them would answer the phone if I called them and would do anything they could to help me. I always knew this but now I truly understand it.
Aunties rock… and I’m so proud to be one.
PS. This post is dedicated to my wonderful aunties – Janice, Maree, Margot, Leonie, Ally, Debbie and Kerrin. I love you all so much. Thank you.
PPS. A special mention must go out to my great aunties Rhonda and Carla. Love you both. xxx
PPPS. To my uncles – I love you too… but it’s not about you right now.