W
eird confession? I don’t actually listen to music that often. Why? Because I’m a total show pony and I like to sing along which I can’t always do if I’m working or I’m in public. I can’t sing and write because my brain can’t multi-task like that so I usually have TV shows on in the background instead of music. One such TV show is Gilmore Girls. I love this show so hard. It’s the perfect mix of terrible and awesome and I never get sick of hearing Lorelai and Rory quip-battle each other. In the interest of bonding over weird obsessions, I’ve put together a few observations I have from repeatedly re-watching the show as an adult…
1. Lorelai and Rory eat a catastrophic amount of junk food.
I’m almost up to re-re-watching season 2 and Rory hasn’t had anything but pop tarts for breakfast for her entire first year at Chilton. I get that Lorelai is a single mum and everything but get some damn salad into that girl. She lives off Luke’s greasy breakfasts, pizza and Red Vines. Girl be having a heart attack before she’s 21. Jeez. Also way to give me totally unrealistic expectations about the correlation between junk food consumption and obesity. I blame these two and their tiny little Ding Dong eating asses for the obesity epidemic in middle America. No one can eat that much crap and remain able to wear non-elastic waist pants.
2. Alexis Bledel hates having to eat Rory’s junk food.
She takes these teeny tiny little mouse bites and everyone goes ‘Ho ho ho! Rory sure does eat a lot!’ and Alexis (playing Rory) reluctantly bites a jelly bean in half and giggles ‘I sure do! Look at these empty wrappers!’ *throws them in the air like confetti*. She’s a terrible fake eater but if she actually ate everything that they wanted us to think Rory ate, her teeny butt wouldn’t have been anywhere near as teeny so I’ll forgive her. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy watching her lick a miniscule mouthful of cake off a fork knowing it’s the 40th time she’s done it that day. Evil laugh.
3. The family talk about Lorelai’s ‘mistake’ way too often.
In real life, if someone accidentally gets pregnant people get over it pretty quickly, like in a matter of a few months. Rory is 16 years old and they’re still banging on about it. It’s just so weird. I can’t image any parents that would still be pissed by a contraceptive slip up 16 years later especially if the child in question is a very sensible, very beautiful and very dull Rory. It’s just weird people.
4. Rory and Lane have the most boring friendship that has ever existed.
All they do is study and have polite conversations about Star’s Hollow upcoming Fall Festival. When Future Lane is Future Rory’s bridesmaid it will be the world’s shittest wedding toast. ‘I remember this one time I borrowed a really ugly top from Rory and then I returned it to her the next day at Luke’s. *tear* I love you Rory.’ Nothing ever happens in their friendship.
5. The show (like most American TV dramas) conforms shamelessly to couple stereotyping.
Rory is hot so she dates hot guys. Lane is the side-kick so she dates geeks. Suki is plus-sized so she gets to marry the goofy produce guy and Lorelai gets to bang every burly stud that wanders into town. No pushing of the envelope at all here people, move along.
6. Michel is the worst character.
His accent is terrible (which is stupid because he’s French Canadian so it’s actually real) and there is nothing redeeming about him at all. I also can’t understand why the hell he lives in Stars Hollow when he clearly hates it and thinks he’s way too fancy to work at an inn. I know there are some super Michel fans out there but I have to be honest. He’s so not invited to my pool party.
7. Why is a 15 year old drinking that much coffee?
When I’m supposed to be concentrating on a deep mother/daughter speed quip scene I’ll often become distracted by the site of baby faced Rory pouring herself yet another cup of coffee at midnight. I’m all ‘WTF Lorelai? She’s a kid. She needs sleep, not a metric fuck tonne of caffeine.’ and then I feel bad because Lorelai is just a single mum doing the best she can. God this show is amazing.
8. Plot lines about missing/lost/runaway teenagers were heaps more effective pre-mobile phones.
Back in the 90s if your kid didn’t show up when she said she was going to, you couldn’t just call her mobile phone. You’d pretty much have to call the sheriff of Star’s Hollow… but then Ms Patty would call to say Rory has been asleep with Dean on the yoga room floor of her studio all night. You’d then be momentarily relieved before marching her straight to the medical centre to go on the pill because LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER!!! The lack of mobile phones also means that your boyfriend can surprise you by knocking on your bedroom door instead of texting you to meet him on the street corner for a quick pre-bedtime pash.
9. They make the half hour drive from Star’s Hollow to Hartford sound like a 6 hour road trip
They’re always ‘going out to Hartford’ and doing things like packing snacks and unplugging the TV like they’re going for a week. I drive to somewhere half an hour away most days and it’s just not a big deal. When The Gilmore Girls drive for half an hour it’s akin to climbing Mount Everest.
[divider type=”standard” width=”1/1″ el_position=”first last”]
Have you re-watched Gilmore Girls as an adult? Did you LOVE the show when it first came out?
[divider type=”standard” width=”1/1″ el_position=”first last”]
P.S Want more Smaggle? Want it daily? Want it weekly? Take your pick gorgeous!