t was a cold and rainy Saturday morning when we lined up to catch the ferry. Due to a very idiotic packing oversight, our umbrellas were tucked safety in our cupboard at home in Australia over 8000 miles away so we were drenched down to our underwear in our warm but not-at-all-waterproof down jackets.
It didn’t matter. An Alcatraz ferry leaves Pier 33 every half hour, all day and each time slot is booked out weeks in advance. We were getting on that ferry.
The day was overcast so the ferry ride was extremely uneventful except for some snacks we purchased from the ferry store. Novelty treats are my kryptonite and it’s like every day is my birthday in the states with all corn-syrup laden goodies they have on offer everywhere, all the time. Consuming food on the island is forbidden but you can pack snacks and eat on the ferry or on the dock.
We were uncharacteristically disorganised that morning and forgot to even bring bottled water (I still can’t figure out how that happened) but shockingly the ferry store was very reasonably priced. We bought water, a few bananas and a packet of chips for $5 USD. That’s a slightly boring detail of our Alcatraz visit but it’s useful if you’re the type of person who would panic to the point of distraction in the ferry queue about having to hand over a twenty for an emergency bottle of water.
We arrived at the dock and like the good little rule-followers we are, we took the advice of everyone who has been to Alcatraz before us and we lined up for audio tour headphones. The audio tour’s reputation really does precede it, which is weird because audio tours are notoriously dull.
This one did not disappoint. It’s narrated by Patrick Mahoney, a former warden of Alcatraz. The tour gives you detailed instructions about where you need to be for each section of the tour. I have a terrible sense of direction and I’m unable to identify my left hand from my right hand in a hurry and even I found myself in the right place at the right time. It’s totally muppet proof.
The tour guides the visitors through four cellblocks and each block is three tiers high. Block A was used for study and storage because the steel bars on the cells weren’t escape proof.
Blocks B and C were used for the majority of prisoners and Cell Block D housed the isolation cells and the maximum security cells. Prisoners were rarely sentenced directly to Alcatraz, they kind of had to ‘earn’ their way there through bad behaviour at other prisons. It was literally an island of the worst of the worst criminals.
The first few cells on the tour are bleak and bare. Even though I’m not in the habit of feeling sympathy for criminals, they looked pretty awful. But eventually the tour leads you around to furnished cells they’ve recreated to show what they might have looked like when they housed prisoners and honestly, they looked quite cosy and homely.
I was beyond excited to hear about one of the inmates who was taught to crochet by his grandmother and subsequently taught the other inmates the craft of yarn. Virtual fist bump to that guy.
The most interesting section of the tour was the part about John Anglin, Clarence Anglin and Frank Morris. In the history of Alcatraz there were 36 prisoners that attempted to escape in 14 different escape manoeuvres. The Anglin brothers and Frank Morris were the only ones who ‘succeeded’. I say ‘succeed’ very loosely as their survival has not been proven. They used spoons to chip away tunnels in their cell walls.
It took almost a year and they kept their tunnels hidden behind posters (the escape in The Shawshank Redemption is based on this story). One evening they climbed onto the roof and jumped into the water to swim towards the bay and no one ever saw them again. There are some fantastic rumours that the brothers survived but they remain unsubstantiated.
Halfway through the tour, you’re lead outside on to the deck and the view is breathtaking. I stood in the pouring rain and video called my parents back home in Australia who were tucked up in bed on a Sunday morning. I couldn’t find my headphones so anyone else within earshot heard every word my mother said.
She hasn’t quite mastered the art of the inside voice when it comes to the video call. ‘You sound snotty? Are you snotty?’. To which I sheepishly admitted, yes I was snotty and I fully intended to blow my nose when I found a tissue.
I know we’re supposed to act all cool and like the internet isn’t totally awesome but showing my parents around Alcatraz via my phone was supremely rad.
At the end of the tour we returned our headphones and headed back inside to take a few more photos. This was the most hilarious part of the Alcatraz experience. Everyone else was still plugged into their tours and watching people counting their steps and following the instructions from the narrator like robots was brilliant. No was talking either so it made for very funny yet eery viewing.
It was an excellent day and a must see if you’re in the bay area. Our first AirBnB host, a very formidable man named Kevin, told us not to bother with Alcatraz saying it’s a ‘Dirty, expensive old prison.’ I’m really glad we ignored this advice.
At the end of the tour we headed down the street for a Blue Bottle coffee and clam chowder at Hog Bay Oyster Company and I enthusiastically recommend both. Oh and if you use the toilet on Alcatraz, lock the door if you don’t want the population of San Francisco to see your undies.
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Are you into jail culture and history? Or is it not really your thing?
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