Before we begin I just need to clarify that I DO know what these words mean. They just break my brain a little when I hear them because they don’t sound like they should mean what they mean. Here are 5 words that regularly confuse me until my brain sorts out the real meaning from the fake meaning that’s inexplicably stamped in my memory.
Vitriolic
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
That someone is admiring someone in an almost religious way.
What It Actually Means
1. (Chemistry) (of a substance, esp a strong acid) highly corrosive
2. severely bitter or caustic; virulent vitriolic criticism
Why This Is A Problem
When someone makes a ‘victriolic’ speech I’m like ‘Oh how nice of them!‘
Nonplussed
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
Not fussed. Because it rhymes. It’s so obvious.
What It Actually Means
1. To put at a loss as to what to think, say, or do; bewilder
2. A state of perplexity, confusion, or bewilderment
Why This is a Problem
It’s not really, because I’m fairly sure that most people don’t know the real meaning of this word anyway.
Incarcerated
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
Someone got set on fire.
What It Actually Means
1. To imprison; confine.
2. To enclose; constrict closely.
Why This Is A Problem
My heart leaps into my throat every time I hear the word because it sounds so disastrous. I mean going to jail isn’t the greatest thing that can happen to a person but it’s a hell of a lot better than getting set on fire. As you can imagine the 7 o’clock news can be very distressing for me.
Concur
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
Whenever anyone says ‘I concur!‘ I think they’re saying ‘I object!‘.
What It Actually Means
1. To accord in opinion; agree: Do you concur with his statement?
2. To cooperate; work together; combine; be associated: Members of both parties concurred
3. To coincide; occur at the same time: His graduation concurred with his birthday
4. Obsolete . to run or come together; converge
Why This Is Problem
Almost daily major confusion, often coupled with outrage. For example I’ll say something like ‘Every one should have the right to get married regardless of their sexual persuasion.‘ and then someone will say ‘I concur!‘ and for a second I’m all ‘Bitch I will cut you.‘
Digress
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
You win, I give up.
What It Actually Means
1. To depart from the main subject in speech or writing
2. To wander from one’s path or main direction
Why This Is A Problem
I frequently think I’m winning an argument when I’m really not.
What about you? Are there any words that don’t sound right to you? Or that you’ve simply invented a new meaning for? Does this happen to everyone? Or am I just a moron?