ave you ever had one of those moments where you have so much stuff to do that you just freeze? You just sit in front of your computer watching the minutes tick by as your assignment gets later and later? Or you slump on the couch while your kids empty the kitchen cupboards and you’re too tired and stressed to try to stop them? You know what you need? A mental health day!
Except that mental health days are bullshit-leprechaun-fairy-dust-magic that don’t actually exist. I ADORE the idea of mental health days and I fantasise about them often. Let me tell you something – I’ve never managed more than a mental health half an hour. Why? Ain’t nobody got time for that shit.
Taking a mental health day when you’ve got too much stuff to do is ridiculous because it just puts you even further behind schedule. I can’t think of one person in the world who has the ability to drop everything at their busiest time of year and be all ‘Instead of doing stuff today I’m going to drink coconut water and play with some kittens. Screw my job, my family and my responsibilities – I’m off to get a totally pointless seaweed wrap!‘.
Obviously mental health days are great and if you can take one, go for it. If you actually need one, then definitely do it. However there are times in your life when you actually cannot drop the ball. So when everything feels out of control, here are a few manageable tips to get you back on track without resorting to a mental health day that you really don’t have time for. Here are 5 ways to cope when you’ve totally lost your shit.
1. Grab some extra Zs
Get to bed early or grab an extra half an hour in the morning if you can manage it. Even if you can sneak away to your car during work for a half hour snooze at lunch time, do it. Stress is really tiring, physically and emotionally so whenever you can grab a nap, do it. Stick to 20 minutes though because longer day time naps may impact on your sleep hygiene which is something you really don’t want to do when you’re already feeling frazzled.
2. Look to the future
Being busy comes in waves and you won’t be out of control forever. Your toddler will grow up, that project will finish, you’ll graduate from school or you’ll get that promotion you’ve been working so hard for. Keep your end date in the back of your mind and it will make your manic life seem much more manageable.
3. Move slowly
People tend to speed up all their actions when they’re stressed. Think about when you’re running late. You’re throwing things around, trying to find your keys, knocking over cups of tea, stubbing your toe, forgetting your wallet, running back upstairs to grab it, locking yourself out of the house. It’s a disaster. The same thing happens when we’re stressed at work. How often have you been cramming to finish an email or project and just deleted the whole thing minutes before it was due? Or sent a report to 50 people with a horrific spelling mistake in it? Rushing feels like it’s going to help you achieve things more quickly but really all it does it stress you out and make you suck at everything. Slow down and move thoughtfully. You don’t have time to clean up additional messes this week so don’t flap around and create extra work for yourself.
4. Say no
If you honestly do not have the capacity to add another thing to your schedule right now, say no. Tell your boss you can’t take up the slack for your co-worker that’s on holiday, tell the lady next door that you can’t look after her three kids every Thursday and tell that friend of yours that you can’t spend hours at the pub right now. If you don’t have any clean underwear and you’ve lost the ability to make that happen, it goes without saying that you don’t have time to go see a movie or pick up your partner’s dry cleaning.
5. Don’t sweat the small stuff
No one is going to call the police if you don’t mow the lawn this week and your dog won’t die if you feed him last nights leftovers instead of his dog food that you’ve run out of. Banging on the steering wheel during a traffic jam won’t make the cars move faster and huffing and puffing in line at the bank won’t make the line vanish. Just breathe, stay calm and don’t waste any anxiety or stress on things that you can’t change.
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Have you lost your shit this week? How are you coping?
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