ometimes I have days where I’m inexplicably self destructive. I’ll be all ‘Hmmm… today’s going well… might just Google myself to see if anyone has called me a dumb bitch online recently…’. It’s absolutely ridiculous behaviour. I can’t say I do it often but when I do, I just cannot believe that I did it. It never ends well. It’s like holding your hand over a candle and being surprised when you get burnt. Most people tend to avoid behaviours that leave them with physical scars but we seem more than happy to keep on running back to old emotional wounds and ripping them wide open again. It’s silly. Let’s all stop doing that shall we? Here are 5 toxic behaviours you need to quit immediately.
Trying on clothes that you know are too small
So you just got back from a 2 week holiday in Italy where the main ingredient in everything you consumed was carbs and the second you get back, you decide to gauge your body damage by trying on your skinny jeans. Big mistake. Don’t do it. I guarantee you will just feel like shit. Unless you were struck down with a stomach flu or you’re a magical person who’s body doesn’t immediately pack on 5 kg when it smells cheese, this is not going to end well. Actually just ditch the skinny jeans all together. No one needs that crap in their lives.
Facebook stalking people you hate
So that nasty girl who made your life hell in high school ended up marrying a handsome millionaire, made her own fortune selling her How To Be Beautiful and Amazing series of best sellers, lives in Paris and didn’t get fat. Flicking through photos of her being successful, happy and gorgeous is not going to make you feel good. Go do something that will work towards you being successful, happy and gorgeous instead and don’t waste brain space on people who don’t deserve it.
Looking at old emails that upset you
You don’t need to keep emails and text messages from fights that you’ve had with people. If you resolved the argument, delete them. If you agree to disagree, delete them. If there’s no chance of reconciliation, move on and delete them. If there’s an active legal dispute, obviously keep them but if you got fired unceremoniously as a bridesmaid five years ago via text message because you refused to get a fake tan, delete that crap. You don’t need it and the negativity will only be weighing you down.
Pretending to be friends with people
It’s never okay to be rude or unkind to people but you also don’t have to hang out with people who’s company you don’t enjoy. I used to work with a guy who actually hated one of this closest friends. He hung out with this guy several times a week and complained constantly about how awful it was. Don’t do it. It’s much better to gently phase someone out of your life than it is to pity-hang out with them. Plus you’ll hate your life less. Win.
Stubbornly holding on to unimportant emotional baggage
I have a friend of a friend who’s high school boyfriend kissed some other girl at party like 15 years ago and she still regularly bangs on about it and gets upset when he posts pictures of himself with his now wife on Facebook. We’ve all had our hearts broken and we all dredge up our worst romance stories from time to time over a bottle of wine with girlfriends but this woman has let this, quite frankly tame experience define her whole adult love life. It’s bonkers. If someone mildly hurt you when you were a teenager you need to get over it. Entry level teenage indiscretions are not comparable to lengthy extra-marital affairs so it might be best to shelve that high-school broken heart story around people who have actual problems.
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Do you indulge in any toxic behaviours that you need to ditch?
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P.S If you’re a blogger and you can get to Melbourne on the 21st March you should come to the Little Blog Big Workshop I’m running with Hair Romance and Sesame Ellis. Tickets have been selling like crazy so get in quick – we’ve only got about a dozen or so left!
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