The Gobbledock
I had completely forgotten about the Gobbledock until my mate mentioned him the other day and my blood ran cold with all the paralysing and irrational fear that five-year-old Smaggle felt when she heard the psychotic ‘CHIPPIEEEEES!’ come screeching out of the television speakers. For those of you that either don’t know what the Gobbledock is or you blissfully don’t remember, he’s a horrifying furry creature that Smiths chips used in the 80s/90s to advertise their chips. He used to scream ‘CHIPPIEEEEES!’ and then run freakishly fast and steal your chips. I was convinced he was going to come into my room at night and eat me. I’d love to know how succesful that campaign was because it scarred me for life.
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Goosebumps books
I think most children of the 80s have experienced some kind of fear induced insomnia at the hands of a Goosebumps book cover. My personal scary-ass cover was The Horror at Camp Jellyjam. The counsellors at Camp Jellyjam were brainwashed and would feed the campers to the horrible purple blob monster King Jellyjam, if they misbehaved. It was pretty messed up and made me question most authority figures in my life until I was least 12 years old.
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Porcelain dolls
Horror stories involving porcelain dolls were extremely popular in the 90s and so were porcelain dolls. One of my neighbours had a collection of 22 porcelain dolls and I hated them. If we were playing in her room and she had to go to the toilet, I’d follow her and wait outside the door. She thought I was pretty weird but being a bathroom stalker was a much better alternative to being stabbed to death by a tiny army of curly-haired, frozen faced dolls who needed my soul for their master.
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The Witches
My mother, bless her soul, took my brother and I to The Witches when we were kids, thinking as so many mothers did back then, that it was appropriate for children. It was not. My brother has a delicate stomach and started dry heaving at the witches rotting teeth and I nearly had a heart attack when Angelica Houston peeled back her perfect face to reveal the horrifying mug of the Grand High Witch. I’d already read the book so I knew what was coming but that disgusting face was something my delicate youthful brain would never be able to concoct. I was extremely uncomfortable around women with large nostrils for at least a year after watching that.
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EC from Lift-Off
When I was kid, everyone wanted an EC doll. You would have had to PAY ME to have an EC doll. He never did anything particularly awful but he was a creepy faceless doll that came alive when you weren’t looking. I just can’t see how the writers sold him as an appealing children’s show character. He wouldn’t look out-of-place shuffling along behind Chucky.
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